Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
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Bullion.Forum
Jokes
- Thread starter 7.62marksman
- Start date
Help Support Prospecting Australia:
I accidently put my phone in the fridge yesterday.
Been getting cold calls ever since.
Been getting cold calls ever since.
Karen was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband Peter. Suddenly, Peter burst into the kitchen.
"Be careful" he said "Karen be careful! Put in some more butter! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn eggs! Turn eggs now! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful woman careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn eggs again! Hurry up! Are you kidding? You are really crazy. Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Where is the salt? Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"
Karen, unbelievably, stared at her husband. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
Peter calmly replied "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving the car".
"Be careful" he said "Karen be careful! Put in some more butter! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn eggs! Turn eggs now! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful woman careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn eggs again! Hurry up! Are you kidding? You are really crazy. Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Where is the salt? Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"
Karen, unbelievably, stared at her husband. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
Peter calmly replied "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving the car".
I went into a shop the other day and everything was on shelves way too high for anyone to reach.
It was an inconvenience store.
It was an inconvenience store.
I bought a grenade today.
Things went horribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.
Things went horribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.
Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
Theyve left no tern unstoned.
Theyve left no tern unstoned.
Midwife for sale.
Can deliver.
Can deliver.
What do you call crystal clear urine?
1080pee.
1080pee.
Ive just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.
I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.
I got the words jacuzzi and yakuza confused.
Now Im in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Now Im in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Just got back from a job interview, where I was asked if can perform under pressure.
I said I wasnt too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
I said I wasnt too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
What do you call a wandering caveman?
A Meanderthal.
A Meanderthal.
A bloke in Europe met a guy from Australia who works in IT.
He asked him, Do you come from a LAN down under?
He asked him, Do you come from a LAN down under?
I relabelled all the jars in my wifes spice rack.
Im not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin
Im not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin
How did the pharaoh get so rich?
He was running a huge pyramid scheme.
He was running a huge pyramid scheme.
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business.
The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
I heard vandals have broken into an origami exhibition and ruined all the exhibits.
Police are trying to work out how events unfolded.
Police are trying to work out how events unfolded.
There will be a new post-mortem today on the body of Michael Jackson at the request of his family. The doctor has been briefed to determine which was the cause of death:
A) Sunshine
B) Moonlight
C) Good Times
D) Boogie.
A) Sunshine
B) Moonlight
C) Good Times
D) Boogie.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
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