Jokes

[Bobj.]

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

 

[Dave's Office]

A racehorse trainer was trying to shove a pill down his horses throat just before the race and one of the Racecourse Stewards spotted him doing it, "what was that you just put down that horses throat" he asked, " oh that's just a peppermint, he eats them all the time, here, try one yourself" the trainer replied as he handed one over to the Steward, when he gave the Jockey the riding instructions he said "jump straight to the front and he'll win and don't worry if something goes past you in the straight it'll just be one of the Stewards

 

[Simmo]

 

[stevewilko]

Comedic impersonators in a game show.

 

[Manpa]

Why did the Starship Enterprise stink?

cos William Shatinher.

 

[Nightjar]

1. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

 

[DLOG MAN]

I went to the USA recently, if you give blood over there, as in becoming a blood donor, they pay you money - if you become a sperm donor, they also give you money - so that got me thinking...all the money i let slip through my fingers when i was a teenager

 

[Dave's Office]

Three golf clubs walked into a bar, the putter orders a beer and the wedge asks for a whisky. The bartender asks the third one if he wants anything. He replies: "No thanks, I'm the driver"

 

[Mackka]

And then Manganese said to Beryllium and Zinc, hey, we should get together Periodically.

 

[Jaros]

oh dear-I get it.

 

[Capertee gold]

From now on I will identify as a Trans Parent,
Time to disappear

 

[sand surfer]

 

[sand surfer]

 

[stevewilko]

A very distressed man is referred to a Wizard and asks,

"Can you lift a terrible curse that was cast over me by a Priest many years ago?"

"Maybe" declares the Wizard;

"but only if you can remember the pronouncement and exact words to this curse"

The worried man replied,

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

 

[user 14190]

 

[user 14190]

 

[sand surfer]

 

[sand surfer]

 

[user 14190]

 

[Newprospect]

Just heard this joke: Apparently, “Men have two heads but only blood for One.
No wonder I was no bloody good at school