Jenny Rogers heading off the cliff in his car singing " you picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel".
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Bullion.Forum
Bad Dad Jokes
- Thread starter fjute1955
- Start date
Help Support Prospecting Australia:
Why was the Egyptian confused ?
Cause his Daddy was a mummy
[my kids still roll their eyes at that one
]
Cause his Daddy was a mummy
[my kids still roll their eyes at that one
]
statusquo
Marc
Doc..I've got a problem..
whats that ..?
I've got 5 penises!
Crikey..how do your pants fit....?
like a glove!
(thanks Billy Crystal)
whats that ..?
I've got 5 penises!
Crikey..how do your pants fit....?
like a glove!
(thanks Billy Crystal)
statusquo
Marc
I heard some jokes the other day about the unemployed,but none of them worked.
A single Aspro is the best form of contraception. All a girl has to do is hold one between her knees.
Nuh Mate,
Go racing into the bedroom with an Aspro and Glass of water.
When asked what you are doing, Offer up the Aspro and water explaining that this is just in case she has a head ache.
.
when you get the answer no, Rub your hands together and say,
Buety, I am in.
Then spend the next week sleeping on the Couch.
.
There is no way you can win mate.
Unless you are an Astronaut.
.
Go racing into the bedroom with an Aspro and Glass of water.
When asked what you are doing, Offer up the Aspro and water explaining that this is just in case she has a head ache.
.
when you get the answer no, Rub your hands together and say,
Buety, I am in.
Then spend the next week sleeping on the Couch.
.
There is no way you can win mate.
Unless you are an Astronaut.
.
Q.What would you call Woolworths if it burnt to the ground? A.Coles.
statusquo
Marc
I really wanted a camouflage shirt..but I couldn't find one
statusquo
Marc
I like your name
Thanks..I got it for my birthday
Thanks..I got it for my birthday
statusquo
Marc
a three legged dog limped into the bar..bartender asks "what can I do for you son?"
Waal drawls the dog, I'm looking for the man that shot my paw
8)
Waal drawls the dog, I'm looking for the man that shot my paw
8)
A pack of indians sit around thier camp fire at night.
One asks the chief.."why is um sky blue chief?"
Chief: "Nighthawk, um reflection off um ocean of course."
Firedance asks chief: "Why is um grass green chief?"
Chief: "Grass um green from um chlorophyll.."
Another asks: "Where do we get our names from um chief"?
The chief looks at him confused and asks:
"Why you ask question like that, Twodogsfugging?"
hope it didnt push boundaries
One asks the chief.."why is um sky blue chief?"
Chief: "Nighthawk, um reflection off um ocean of course."
Firedance asks chief: "Why is um grass green chief?"
Chief: "Grass um green from um chlorophyll.."
Another asks: "Where do we get our names from um chief"?
The chief looks at him confused and asks:
"Why you ask question like that, Twodogsfugging?"
hope it didnt push boundaries
statusquo
Marc
its been a while...
i looked at a lighthouse today that was for sale..decided it was too flashy for me
talking to a mate today about his concrete business, he reckoned it was getting harder and harder
how do you know if you're drowning in milk?
when its past your eyes....
i looked at a lighthouse today that was for sale..decided it was too flashy for me
talking to a mate today about his concrete business, he reckoned it was getting harder and harder
how do you know if you're drowning in milk?
when its past your eyes....
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2013
- Messages
- 1,798
- Reaction score
- 3,410
kemjak57 said:
Best form of contraception is wedding cake !!!
Whats the definition of frenzy?
two blind lesbians in a fish market
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2013
- Messages
- 1,076
- Reaction score
- 573
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.
statusquo
Marc
This one just had to be told....
My uncles pet mouse ELVIS died last night...
He was caught in a trap
He can't go on...........
My uncles pet mouse ELVIS died last night...
He was caught in a trap
He can't go on...........
