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Bullion.Forum
Jokes
- Thread starter 7.62marksman
- Start date
Help Support Prospecting Australia:
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- Dec 13, 2015
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Dave's Office
Have Detector Will Travel
What do you call an attractive, intelligent, sensible man? A rumour
Dave, quick! You're wife's using your PA account again!
Is tossing and turning at night counted as exercise?? 
Anyone for Pizza tonight?
Continuing the trend from the joke above:
I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
I lost my job as a maze designer. I got lost in my work.
I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
I lost my job making stationery. I wasn’t going anywhere.
I lost my job as an archaeologist. My career is in ruins.
I lost my job at the orange juice plant. I just couldn’t concentrate.
I lost my job as an investor. I kept losing interest.
I lost my job as a telemarketer. It wasn’t my calling.
I lost my job as a waiter. At least it put food on the table.
I lost my job as a sound technician. I couldn’t handle the feedback.
I lost my job as a fortune-teller. I couldn’t make a prophet.
I lost my job as a lumberjack. They gave me the axe.
I lost my job as a tailor. I just wasn’t suited for it.
I lost my job installing mufflers. It was exhausting work.
I lost my job working security at the Samsung store. I was a Guardian of the Galaxies.
I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
I lost my job as a maze designer. I got lost in my work.
I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
I lost my job making stationery. I wasn’t going anywhere.
I lost my job as an archaeologist. My career is in ruins.
I lost my job at the orange juice plant. I just couldn’t concentrate.
I lost my job as an investor. I kept losing interest.
I lost my job as a telemarketer. It wasn’t my calling.
I lost my job as a waiter. At least it put food on the table.
I lost my job as a sound technician. I couldn’t handle the feedback.
I lost my job as a fortune-teller. I couldn’t make a prophet.
I lost my job as a lumberjack. They gave me the axe.
I lost my job as a tailor. I just wasn’t suited for it.
I lost my job installing mufflers. It was exhausting work.
I lost my job working security at the Samsung store. I was a Guardian of the Galaxies.
Cracker mate.
Feel free to add more!Cracker mate.
I lost my job at the dry cleaners. The business folded.
I lost my job as a professional announcer. I don't know what to say.
I lost my job at the butchers. I accidentally sat on the meat slicer and got behind in my work.
I lost my job as a tow truck driver. I couldn't pull my weight.
I lost my job at the waste treatment plant. The work environment was so toxic.
Dave's Office
Have Detector Will Travel
"What are your dogs' names?"
Me: "Calvin and Klein."
"Isn't that a brand of underwear?"
Me: "Exactly, they're boxers."
---------------------------------
When I buy a pack of a dozen ribs, I only eat ribs 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11.
I prefer prime ribs.
--------------------------------
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
--------------------------------
My house is haunted by a chicken.
A poultrygeist.
A fowl spirit.
I plan to call an eggsorcist to help it cross to the other side.
------------------------------------------
Me: "Calvin and Klein."
"Isn't that a brand of underwear?"
Me: "Exactly, they're boxers."
---------------------------------
When I buy a pack of a dozen ribs, I only eat ribs 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11.
I prefer prime ribs.
--------------------------------
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
--------------------------------
My house is haunted by a chicken.
A poultrygeist.
A fowl spirit.
I plan to call an eggsorcist to help it cross to the other side.
------------------------------------------
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