Going Through Separation And Divorce

[Ward69]

How did you know When it's time to seek help. What's the trigger points

 

[DrDuck]

Ward, if you are asking that question, I think it would be a good idea to talk to someone.

If you are miserable in the morning and only warm up during the day, talk to someone.

If you feel joyless and don't have much to look forward to, get help.

If you dont get pleasure from stuff you used to like doing, get help.

If you are getting isolated from friends and family, get help.

If you are angry all the time, get help.

If you feel hopeless, get help,

If you feel like you are alone without support or no one you can talk to, get help,

If you feel like you don't want to go on, definitely get help.

If you are drinking too much to cope, get help, particularly if you are drinking in the morning to get started for the day.

Remember that tough times never last, but tough people do.

 

[Flowerpot]

I went through the depression stage but got some help through counselling, and would recommend anyone to get professional help. Family and friends are good to lean on but they are emotionally involved so it's good to be able to talk to someone who's not. I also had the kids in counselling as I felt I couldn't talk/answer questions they had without getting angry. They also didn't want to talk to me about things, they were able to open up to the counselor as everything was kept confidential. The counselor only spoke to me about their sessions if she felt it was absolutely necessary, which was hardly ever.

Welcome back mate,
Can totally agree with you about counseling. A few months after my first marriage "went south", I hit probably the lowest ever point in my life. I was a total wreck emotionally. A friend recommended I seek counseling. Well, I turned up for my appointment only to be confronted by a young woman half my age. I thought ...... WTF. Anyhow, to get to the point, we chatted a bit about nothing important and before I realised it, I was spilling my whole life story while the lady kept quiet and let me ramble on.
I walked out of that place floating on air, feeling that the weight of the world had lifted from my shoulders. Amazing what just talking to someone can achieve. Sure it took time to fully heal but it got me on the right track.
So yes, seeking professional counseling can sure help to heal a wounded soul. :Y:

Chiron youre a champ, you were the first person to make me laugh really hard and out loud and for a long time with your spider tale, a breath of fresh air, when I needed it, so thanks.

 

[Flowerpot]

How did you know When it's time to seek help. What's the trigger points

Ward, talk to us, were a big family, not always perfect....but were here

 

[burkenotwills]

How did you know When it's time to seek help. What's the trigger points

Ward, I just knew. I was at exploding point with a raft of emotions. I reckon if you're asking it's probably time.
I had to get myself back in check as I had three girls to consider and look after. I needed to refocus on them and knew I couldn't do it alone. That was probably my trigger.
But if you're drinking more, eating less, no sleep, angry etc probably time to get help.
I went in sceptical probably like a lot of blokes but so glad I did it.

 

[Ward69]

Many thanks DrDuck, Flowerpot, burkenotwills and even 227Dick who actually text me on the phone last night , are you ok? yes, I'm ok, every day is a new day - just wanted to know and what are the trigger points, for others to see, who are in the same boat

thanks

Mark

 

[goody2shoes]

As long as you are OK Mark...

Remembered there are always people that care about you...

I only care about your gold tho :lol: :lol: joking

Goody

 

[Chiron52]

How did you know When it's time to seek help. What's the trigger points

Hey Ward,
Great question. I believe the answer might be different for each and every one of us.
But all the above suggestions are probably correct.

In my case -
I was moping around the house feeling sorry for my self.
I didn't want to do anything.
I felt that life sucked. Why me!
I felt emotionally and physically drained.
At times I felt I wanted to scream out loud.
A friend noticed something didn't seem right.
He asked me what was bothering me.
After I told him, he mentioned another person he knew was helped enormously by talking to someone at Anglicare.
Being a bloke and taking that first step of making an appointment with a professional is so hard.
And yet looking back it now seemed such a simple thing to do.

The important thing was talking to someone. Someone who listened and didn't judge.
And oddly, it can often be far easier to talk to a stranger than to a friend or family member.
Mate, the fact that you asked, is a big step in the right direction.
Cheers,
Dave. :Y:

 

[Chiron52]

Chiron youre a champ, you were the first person to make me laugh really hard and out loud and for a long time with your spider tale, a breath of fresh air, when I needed it, so thanks.

Thanks Ms :flowers: Pot.
I hope you read my Detector Dog story also.
Might be another yarn in the works shortly too.
Cheers. :Y:

 

[Ward69]

Many thanks Back in Ballarat on weekend. For xmas with the kids. I'm ok. It's been two years since the redundancy and separation from the 1st wife, The current contract is finishing end of January up here in Brisbane. Just on a downer, thinking this time of year you reflect on what was and what could have been, To young to retire 50 in March 2019. Going take a break over in phillippines with 2nd wife, then buy the Tavern at Karara. Hopefully. Then beers are on me. Many thanks for help. Mark

 

[goody2shoes]

Long way to come for a beer tho :lol: :lol:

We are all here if you need a chat,

Goody

 

[RM Outback]

Long way to come for a beer tho :lol: :lol:

Goody

Did someone say beer :beer: and and a road trip I'm in :Y:. Best of luck with your future Ward69 and have a safe and Merry Christmas mate the same for your OS trip. If you buy that Pub I'll warm a seat one day that'll give me a good destination :Y: :beer:

 

[Ward69]

Thanks mate.

 

[Ded Driver]

Its been close to 7yrs since my life got turned upside down with separation & the loss of both parents all within about 18 months.. Ive been thru a hellova lot in my life, but that was the worse.
I didn't get professional help but gravitated back to my brother & sisters & immersed myself in helping my kids thru the shock. Everything turned their lives over as well.
Between us all, we helped each other thru everything that was going on, & have come out the other side fairly well I think.
I still miss my father every day , but the power of family with thick blood is an anchor chain in its strength.
So to all those going thru it, know its a life stage that many fall into, but if you can find the right support you can go on. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long that tunnel is. keep going.
:heart: ower: :rainbow:

 

[Ward69]

Thanks for sharing. Normally I'm happy go lucky bloke. Have beer or too. Then life gives you a kick in guts, hit hurts tomorrow is another day. Hoping it's a different

 

[Flowerpot]

Onwards and upwards Ward. :beer: :beer:
Kick the crap in the guts and sit back and watch tonights sunset just because you can.

 

[Ward69]

Would like to say. Many thanks to good2shoes. To allow me open up thanks mate.

 

[goody2shoes]

Your welcome Ward69,

Feel free to anytime,

That go to everyone that just needs someone to chat to,

Regards Goody

 

[Chiron52]

On Xmas day I will raise my glass and give a silent toast to Ward, DD and all the other "survivors."
We've all made it through 2018 and now it's onward and upward into 2019 with a new attitude.
Thanks again to the PA members who freely gave their support to strangers in need.
What a great bunch of Aussie mates and matettes you find in these pages. :Y: :Y: :Y: :heart:

 

[Jaros]

Well said Chiron52.