Why was 10 shaken in its boots, because 7 ate 9.
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Bullion.Forum
Bad Dad Jokes
- Thread starter fjute1955
- Start date
Help Support Prospecting Australia:
Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.
Q: What's red and isn't there?
A: No tomatoes.
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Anything you like, he won't come to you.
Q: Why did the cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why did the other cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the first one.
Q: Why did the other cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: He thought it was a game.
...I don't really need to tell you why the uncool koala fell out of the tree, do I?
A: Red paint.
Q: What's red and isn't there?
A: No tomatoes.
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Anything you like, he won't come to you.
Q: Why did the cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why did the other cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the first one.
Q: Why did the other cool koala fall out of the tree?
A: He thought it was a game.
...I don't really need to tell you why the uncool koala fell out of the tree, do I?
Ned kellys not dead
Wayne Kelly
The Inuit people of the frozen north eat all sorts of wild game, including polar bears.
There method of catching them is quite unique, here's how it goes.
They get a saw, a packet of frozen peas and go out on the frozen sea and saw a round hole in the ice, then they sprinkle the frozen peas all around the hole and wait,
and :8 when the polar bear comes for a pea they kick him in the icehole!
There method of catching them is quite unique, here's how it goes.
They get a saw, a packet of frozen peas and go out on the frozen sea and saw a round hole in the ice, then they sprinkle the frozen peas all around the hole and wait,
and :8 when the polar bear comes for a pea they kick him in the icehole!
K-Dizzle
Krystal
What do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglass
What's big red a eats rocks?
A big read rock eater?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyway.
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglass
What's big red a eats rocks?
A big read rock eater?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyway.
What do you call a bloke with rabbits up his bum? Warren.
What's yellow and can't swim. ..
A bulldozer
A bulldozer
- Joined
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did you hear about the bloke with a thalidomide dog?
Took him for a drag around the block.
Took him for a drag around the block.
K-Dizzle
Krystal
Tathradj said:
You should insist people call you Douglass when you don't have your shovel
kemjak57 said:
This is true. My wife is a teacher and she once had a roll call class with a Jenna Taylor and a Jenna Toole. What could the parents have been thinking?
DrDuck said:
Cruel. Like the Flower family that lived near me when I was a kid that had several girls; you guessed it named them after flowers including Lilly.
Rob.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion .... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.
I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens).
Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No.... I'm a rabbit in Mildura."
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion .... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.
I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens).
Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No.... I'm a rabbit in Mildura."
statusquo
Marc
My son just walked in.. Hey dad I could do a recycling joke ....but it would be garbage
The funniest joke ever has jut been found in Africa.......but ya had to be there I guess.
My youngest sons name is Karnak, but we call him knackers.PabloP said:
What is black & dangerous?
A crow with a machine gun!
What is yellow & dangerous?
Shark infested custard!
What does a 1.8 metre parrot say?
Polly wanna cracker...NOW!
Who can forget the old Elephant jokes?
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get another fence!
Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They do not have a thumb to ring the bell!
Why do elephants not do ballet?
They cannot find leotards large enough!
A crow with a machine gun!
What is yellow & dangerous?
Shark infested custard!
What does a 1.8 metre parrot say?
Polly wanna cracker...NOW!
Who can forget the old Elephant jokes?
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get another fence!
Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They do not have a thumb to ring the bell!
Why do elephants not do ballet?
They cannot find leotards large enough!
Goldtarget
(AKA OldGT)
My daughter at the dinner table the other night.
Me "Any ideas what you'd like to do with you're life? "
Daughter " Not really but I've found my special talent."
Me "That's great. What's your special talent?"
Daughter " Sleeping. I can do that with my eyes closed."
Me "Any ideas what you'd like to do with you're life? "
Daughter " Not really but I've found my special talent."
Me "That's great. What's your special talent?"
Daughter " Sleeping. I can do that with my eyes closed."
