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Our local Safeway burnt to the ground last night all that's left is Coles.
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Bullion.Forum
Bad Dad Jokes
- Thread starter fjute1955
- Start date
Help Support Prospecting Australia:
Two mobile phones got married, they had a great reception, they had four bars.
LOL they're all so bad, they're good :lol:
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school, don't panic he woke up eventually.
Did you hear about the flasher who was going to retire, he decided to stick it out for another year.
The leper meet with a prostitute, left her a tip.
The leper meet with a prostitute, left her a tip.
Chiron52
Dave
Took my grandfather to one of those places where fish eat all the dead skin off you.
Pretty expensive at $100 a session but still a lot cheaper than a funeral.
Pretty expensive at $100 a session but still a lot cheaper than a funeral.
Chiron52
Dave
If you close your eyes and rub a Kiwi fruit in one hand and rub one of your testicles in the other, it's difficult to tell the difference.
It also gets you banned from Coles.
It also gets you banned from Coles.
Chiron52
Dave
Irishman orders a pizza. The chef says would you like that cut in 4 or 6 pieces? Irishman, you better cut in 4 I dont think I could eat 6.
86 year old albert goes to the doctor and asks for a prescription for 1/4 of a viagra a day. The doctor says 'Albert, you realize that a quarter won't give you a proper erection?' Albert says 'young man, what the hell would I do with a proper erection at my age , I just want it to stick out enough so that I stop peeing on my slippers.'
Parachute Club
Just to warm up your weekend
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.
Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellows.
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts?
You are 76-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!
This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said. "I really don't know what to do.
I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went dead.
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun!
Just to warm up your weekend
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.
Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellows.
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts?
You are 76-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!
This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said. "I really don't know what to do.
I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went dead.
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun!
Ancient Proverbs:
-Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
-Man who run in front of car get tired.
-Man who run behind car get exhausted.
-Man with hand in pocket feel c**ky all day.
-Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
-Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
-Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
-Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
-War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
-Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
-Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
-Man who run in front of car get tired.
-Man who run behind car get exhausted.
-Man with hand in pocket feel c**ky all day.
-Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
-Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
-Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
-Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
-War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
-Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
shakergt
Moderating Team
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shakergt said:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :Y: Gold.
- Joined
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A young boy tells his Dad he's feeling very cold Dad say go and stand in the corner. The young boy is confused and asks why Dad replies because it's 90 degrees.
Anolphart
Zol Straub
RM Outback said:
GROAN!
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Gassman said:
Yeah that qualifies :Y: only because it's bad :lol:.
We were driving from Norseman to Esperence today and we noticed that the local grain crops were not very tall but had the head ready for harvest. So I said "I guess they are going to use this grain to make shortbread."
Does that qualify for a bad dad joke?
Cheers
Doug
Does that qualify for a bad dad joke?
Cheers
Doug
