Feel free to add your own funny trips or experiences while on the road :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Grab a beer - wine or scotch sit back feet up and have a laugh (at my expense)
Ok where to start
Packed the Turtle to go to Wattle Flat last weekend 10/11/17
Kahleesi - check
Beer - check
Scotch - check
Rum - check
Fuel - check
Smokes - check
Oh and some food - check
Up in the morning ready to leave 0800 and see that my dog (milo) has a sore foot 8.( 8.(
First Indication to stay home
Had a look and it was an infected right pad - saw to that (Dr/Vet ken) he is ok now time to leave 0930
Set the nav system (touring 700hd car and 4x4) for Wattle Flat and hit the road
Second indication to go back home
For the first 10k it was telling me to do a U Turn you are going the wrong way mmmmm ok turn it off I know my way to Goulburn via Nerriga
Ok we get through Goulburn heading north to Bathurst
About 30k into the trip the nav says in 1000m turn right mmm cant remember doing that before but it is set on fastest way and it should know The road lasted about 20k then turned to dirt road ok yep still ok I can work with this
Third indication to go back home
In 500m turn right (I hate the sound of her voice)
Turned right went 100m and crossed a cattle grid now this is not looking good NEVER travelled this way before
Travelled for 15k on goat track dirt road 5 or 6 cattle grids later come over the top of a hill and saw something you only see on the cartoons a sign that I thought I was smoking from the wrong packet and seeing things NO THROUGH ROAD no road ahead only bush
Sitting there looking at this sign looking at the nav system and thinking one more time you will go out the window and I will use the Tom Tom
Check fuel tank plus 40lt spare all good
Turned around and headed back
Got back to the first dirt road and turned right travelled about 20k and that bloody voice came on in 500m turn right (god I hate that voice)
Forth indication to go back home
Turned right and traveled down this goat track for about 10k across cattle grids and god you guessed it another sign NO THROUGH ROAD I sit there looking at this sign and checking my smokes and yes you guessed it that stupid system went out the window and into the paddock I know before you say it "LITTERING" at this time I dont care its time to get the Tom Tom going
Fifth indication to go home
15 min later I am still turning the Turtle upside down looking for the Tom Tom and then it hits me like a cricket bat to the back of the head its in the Statesman back at home (gotta check these smokes again)
Sixth indication to go back home
Bugger now I had to find that other Witch (spelt with a B) again so into the grass I go thank heaven you cant throw things very far out the window so no littering as i have now got it back.
Seventh indication to go home
Sat down in the dirt to have a smoke and what do I see OIL dripping on the road from the diff and tail shaft area had a look under the Turtle and he is bleeding from the rear diff seal now this is not good
Around this time you must realise I am not in a good mood and the I dont give a shite comes to mind
Saw one run down house about 7k back apart from that only wild life (Cant even hear any Banjos) there is NOTHING but heat and dust
Witch is back on the dash and so I turned around and headed back just my luck no one will be at the house coming up to the house someone had turned up and was doing something in the barn (yes you beauty I am saved)
Eighth indication to go hame
Stopped and told him I was geographically embarrassed and was trying to get to Wattle Flat and he tells me he has never heard of that place GOD NO PLEASE NOT NOW ok how about a big town called Bathurst you heard of that "yep heard of that no worries"
Travel back down to the T intersection turn right and just follow that straight through you cant get lost (right I have heard this before)
I asked about the signs I have come across and he asked what the hell were you doing way down there that the road was gazetted back in 1960 to go through but never did
I burst into laughter by the look on his face he must have thought I was from Wolf Creek by this time I had thought of that myself
Just as i was going to pull out he informs me I have an oil leak at the rear of my veh (der - you sure) was what went through my mind but never said anything just smiled like the clown in IT and said thank you i saw that a while back
From there it was straight forward FOLLOW the signs and you will get where you are going
On arriving to Wattle Flat I had been driving for about 7 hours to do a 4 hour trip and arrived in time for dinner
Grab a beer - wine or scotch sit back feet up and have a laugh (at my expense)
Ok where to start
Packed the Turtle to go to Wattle Flat last weekend 10/11/17
Kahleesi - check
Beer - check
Scotch - check
Rum - check
Fuel - check
Smokes - check
Oh and some food - check
Up in the morning ready to leave 0800 and see that my dog (milo) has a sore foot 8.( 8.(
First Indication to stay home
Had a look and it was an infected right pad - saw to that (Dr/Vet ken) he is ok now time to leave 0930
Set the nav system (touring 700hd car and 4x4) for Wattle Flat and hit the road
Second indication to go back home
For the first 10k it was telling me to do a U Turn you are going the wrong way mmmmm ok turn it off I know my way to Goulburn via Nerriga
Ok we get through Goulburn heading north to Bathurst
About 30k into the trip the nav says in 1000m turn right mmm cant remember doing that before but it is set on fastest way and it should know The road lasted about 20k then turned to dirt road ok yep still ok I can work with this
Third indication to go back home
In 500m turn right (I hate the sound of her voice)
Turned right went 100m and crossed a cattle grid now this is not looking good NEVER travelled this way before
Travelled for 15k on goat track dirt road 5 or 6 cattle grids later come over the top of a hill and saw something you only see on the cartoons a sign that I thought I was smoking from the wrong packet and seeing things NO THROUGH ROAD no road ahead only bush
Sitting there looking at this sign looking at the nav system and thinking one more time you will go out the window and I will use the Tom Tom
Check fuel tank plus 40lt spare all good
Turned around and headed back
Got back to the first dirt road and turned right travelled about 20k and that bloody voice came on in 500m turn right (god I hate that voice)
Forth indication to go back home
Turned right and traveled down this goat track for about 10k across cattle grids and god you guessed it another sign NO THROUGH ROAD I sit there looking at this sign and checking my smokes and yes you guessed it that stupid system went out the window and into the paddock I know before you say it "LITTERING" at this time I dont care its time to get the Tom Tom going
Fifth indication to go home
15 min later I am still turning the Turtle upside down looking for the Tom Tom and then it hits me like a cricket bat to the back of the head its in the Statesman back at home (gotta check these smokes again)
Sixth indication to go back home
Bugger now I had to find that other Witch (spelt with a B) again so into the grass I go thank heaven you cant throw things very far out the window so no littering as i have now got it back.
Seventh indication to go home
Sat down in the dirt to have a smoke and what do I see OIL dripping on the road from the diff and tail shaft area had a look under the Turtle and he is bleeding from the rear diff seal now this is not good
Around this time you must realise I am not in a good mood and the I dont give a shite comes to mind
Saw one run down house about 7k back apart from that only wild life (Cant even hear any Banjos) there is NOTHING but heat and dust
Witch is back on the dash and so I turned around and headed back just my luck no one will be at the house coming up to the house someone had turned up and was doing something in the barn (yes you beauty I am saved)
Eighth indication to go hame
Stopped and told him I was geographically embarrassed and was trying to get to Wattle Flat and he tells me he has never heard of that place GOD NO PLEASE NOT NOW ok how about a big town called Bathurst you heard of that "yep heard of that no worries"
Travel back down to the T intersection turn right and just follow that straight through you cant get lost (right I have heard this before)
I asked about the signs I have come across and he asked what the hell were you doing way down there that the road was gazetted back in 1960 to go through but never did
I burst into laughter by the look on his face he must have thought I was from Wolf Creek by this time I had thought of that myself
Just as i was going to pull out he informs me I have an oil leak at the rear of my veh (der - you sure) was what went through my mind but never said anything just smiled like the clown in IT and said thank you i saw that a while back
From there it was straight forward FOLLOW the signs and you will get where you are going
On arriving to Wattle Flat I had been driving for about 7 hours to do a 4 hour trip and arrived in time for dinner
