Some of my favourites:
"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
- Fred Allen
"When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasnt the slightest intention of putting it into practice."
- Otto von Bismarck
"The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance."
- Laurence J. Peter
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a serious lack of imagination."
- Oscar Wilde
"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy."
- W.C.Fields (1880 1946)
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
- John Kenneth Galbraith
"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral."
- Robert Orben