Got to see my girls for first time in 5 weeks! Photos of the day:

[MJB]

My heart goes out to you AtomRat and I hope everything works out well for you and your girls. As a father of 2 myself it would, like you say, tear me apart to have my children go through what your having to deal with.

Good on you Goldtarget for offering up some pretty sound advice and words of encouragement, I can imagine in a situation like this every little bit of support helps out enormously.

Hang in there Atomrat, go for a dig, ease your mind

Cheers

 

[ProspectorPete]

Hey AtomRat, I feel for ya mate.
Although I don't have kids I know the feeling of not having control of your life.
For years I've battled health issues and been in/out of hospital not knowing if I'd see next year, had 2 marriage's fail and financial ruined for a long time, false accusations which led to intervention orders and almost saw me go to jail.
Luckily I've come out the other side and still able to smile.
One piece of advice I can vouch for that kept my sanity through all my **** times was to keep my chin up no matter what life threw at me.
Only stress about what you have control over and can do something about.
Don't stress over what you can't control because it's out of your hands.
Stress is your enemy and won't help your situation one bit.
I got to a stage where I used to laugh when I got more bad news 'cause I couldn't believe the situation could get any worse, it did and it was laugh or cry about it, I was sick of crying so decided that no matter what life threw at me I was not going to be beaten by it, the more it threw the more I just shook my head and laughed about it.
I used to drink and smoke a fair bit to escape reality but it only masked the situation short term, it's what I had to do to cope at times and keep some sort of sanity but there was a fine line sometimes.
I believe keeping my chin up and laughing about how much **** kept getting thrown was what got me through it.
With a clear head I was able to make small decisions that slowly changed situations and gave me the upper hand.
Now when a crap situation crops up I'm able to deal with it a lot better as my experience has made me stronger to deal with it.
Although you feel you have your back to the wall with no where to go at times, the situation is not forever and you need to remind yourself of that.
You are in this position now, picture where you'd like to be in 5 years, 10 years from now, now you need to work out what steps you need to take to get there.
Set small achievable goals and go from there, only stress about what you can control, keep your chin up and don't loose site of the big picture.
When you're really down and stressed take time out and go fossicking to clear the mind for a few hours, you'll be surprised at how that big issue in the morning is not as big when you get back home, oh it's still there but your mind will be clearer to deal with it better.
Good luck with it all mate and getting counselling is a great move as we can only offer advice drawn from our own experiences in life, but being able to talk about it is half the battle.

 

[AtomRat]

Goldtarget - Thanks for the info again on self representing at courts, it may be an option for me, I will talk to a few around and see what they say. My largest concerns are the best interest of my children, their safety and their well being. If there is any information you want to know about my situation, please just ask. Your replies may be able to help my children in the future. I know, that the past few weeks have not been dealt with correctly, and that my daughters have been thrown around with no consideration from nobody that they are involved with now.

MJB - It's the people with children that understand the most, the pain is unbearable everyday, not just for me, but mostly the pain and hurt that my two daughters are forced to go through. And none of that has been my fault at it, it has all been their mothers choices in the past few weeks. Imaging what it must be like them to be removed from their father, 3 hours away, their mother teamed up with a new bloke within a week of the break, and now have to lie to me about everything to protect their mother.. It has not been about the children at all, and I am going to make it all about the children.

ProspectorPete - Yeah mate, I have had a few of those crazy laughs, I have even had thought 3 times now to book myself into a psych ward as I have not been handling the pain my daughters are forced to go through. I never made the call, as I dont think the courts would see me as being a well father, so I don't even have that as a form of 'help' for myself. I am learning to deal with a lot of this professionally through my counselling, most of it I have dealt with fine. I had many past issues that drove my anger a bit further before and would yell a lot, but do understand now that I can deal with issues in other ways.

 

[Goldtarget]

My first go was being on the telephone with her and a lethal aid solicitor on the other (not a typo). 5 hours fighting about details. That is not meditation. Group sessions helped see my issues from another view, alot of us went in as fighters and come out the other side parents. Had I taken that road earlier I could have avoided alot of hurt blame and wheel spinning. I did not know at the time though, I thought the best thing to do was get a good solicitor, and make the other side yield to my will without comprising too much of what I wanted. Don't waste time your daughters are young and the sooner they have stability the better the outcome for them. We as parents have to pay the toll master whether together or apart, if there's something you can change on your side that's getting in the way address it, forgive yourself and move forward. I hate to say it but I the end you have little control of the other side, it's a bit like having a terrible boss, you might not like it but you still have a job to do, it's all still very early mate it will make more sense in time, hurt makes it all pretty crazy at times. Be patient with yourself and others, and begin with the end in mind. Think of this as a tempering of your character, you can come out the other side much stronger.

 

[AtomRat]

I still feel that what my daughters have been going through and are still going through is too much. They have soo little contact with me. I used to do everything for them, educational, health, playing, everything, while the mother would only want them to watch DVD's. It will never make sense to me that it is right for them to have their father replaced by someone much younger and so early. She left me and within the week had this bloke doing chores for my children.

I hate it all soo much and feel that there is no one to listen to me or what my daughters have been put through. I want to put a stop to this person thinking that they can play tickling and wrestling games with my daughters. My oldest girl thinks he is annoying, she said that mummy kisses him and its silly because he is not daddy, and also told me that they are not allowed into the bedroom in the morning because the door is closed.

I dont want my kids to be abandoned because their mother just wants to move on. She had the choice to give me the chance to fix things up for my family, but she couldnt even get through a week. To me, she is destroying the girls, and if I need to, I will ring up child protection to make sure that they are getting the care they actually need, instead of the care that their mother's family thinks they need.

It is making this prospector so upset I just dont know who to ring or what to do mate.