Funny sayings

[shakergt]

So what is the best or funniest saying you have heard?

I heard a new one today. It was as cranky as a bag full of cats.

I am sure there are better ones

 

[Dave79]

He's as genuine as a 6 dollar note.... Applies to most politicians.

 

[Sandta]

He's as ....bright as a dark night
.... dumb as a box of rocks
... ugly as a hat full of arseholes

 

[The Scrounger]

Got a face like a smashed crab

Got a face like a dropped pie 8)

This bloke told me that you weren't fit to eat with pigs,but I stood up for you and said that your were

I have been as busy as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition :lol:

 

[7.62marksman]

lights on no one home
wheel turning but the hamster is dead
not the sharpest knife in the draw
6 pack short of a carton

 

[Manpa]

It's Marcia Hines left tit, it's just not right!

 

[kemjak57]

Got a head like the south end of a north bound camel.
Im as full as a state school.
Hes as useless as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition.
As useless as a crippled prawn in a flock of seagulls.

 

[silver]

Like a pig in $hit
up to ya nuts in guts
just tighten up the nappy
like two pigs fighting in a sack
self praise is no form of recomendation
:lol:

 

[shakergt]

A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

 

[Bobh]

Sharp as a bowling ball!
Up and down like a harlots pants!
A few sandwiches short of a picnic

 

[madhatter]

As straight as a hook
As useless as tits on a bull
You have a head for radio...

 

[Manpa]

As much use as tits on a bull
As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
6 beers between a fox and a dog
You don't look at the mantelpiece when poking the fire
If God had meant me to walk, why invent 4wds
WOFTAM, waste of f...kin time and money
Happily married, she's happy, I'm married.
I'm starting to think ill never be old enough to know better
**** creek survivor

 

[BoydWilliam]

Bigger than Hitlers gas bill

 

[Feral]

If you had a brain cell it would be lonely

If your brain was an A bomb and it exploded, it wouldn't even ruffle your hair

I'm so unlucky that if I fell into a bucket full of tits I'd come out sucking my thumb

 

[Rockhunter62]

SNAFU - situation normal all effed up
DILLIGAF - does it look like I give a f...

 

[Dave79]

So windy I just watched a chicken lay the same egg 3 times.
Tight as a nuns _______
I used to be indecisive but now I'm just not sure.

 

[jakal]

Have to drop the kids off at the pool.

 

[Dave79]

Don't get your ambitions mixed up with your abilities.
Rare as unicorn sh__

 

[Wishfull]

He's like an indicator. Flashes of brilliance.

 

[woomera]

Beauty is only skin deep but with you I'd need a pick and shovel

Face like a melted gumboot

He's gettin all the nourishment and I'm gettin all the punishment