stevewilko
that's right it was me....
My Best Friends Best Friend.
I had just occasion to met up with my best friend, whom was best man at my wedding, and he was in company of his good mate too.
This fellow was only a little younger than me and in the lead up to my bucks night he was asking me many questions. He asked me questions like
"when you first saw your fiance, what did you think?"
"What made you go to speak with her?"
"What did you say to her at first?"
"What did you think when she first spoke to you in return?"
Questions. Questions Questions.
As many as was needed for me to say to him "the answers to these questions that you ask me continually are within you. You already know the answers to all these questions and I can prove it to you in a simple lesson. If you want too, I will take you through a three question lesson that will show you that you already know all you need to know about women, right now"
He thought about this and said "well yes, OK" to which I added;
"I bet you know all the answers in this lesson so I will wager with you the cash in my pocket; and if you get a question correct, I will double the bet each time so you take all - with three correct answers to the three questions."
I dug my fist in my pocket and tabled about $16 in small notes and change.
"The first question to you is, who was the first man unto this earth and what was his name?"
He looked down to the chair legs alongside, looked down to the floor and back across again, all the time sub vocalising that I could hear his reasoning.
"Well there were the hominids and the homo sapiens, then perhaps homo erectus, also the first skeleton finds in Africa, but this was pre history. There aren't any records of who was the first man unto this earth. There weren't any writings or books to refer to.... but ... the bible.... the bible says the first man unto this earth was Adam, so it does"
So he looked up at me from the flooring and said " The bible says the first man unto this earth was Adam. Is this correct?"
"Correct!" I said and I gave him his $16.
"Now for the doubled bet of $32, here is your second question; who was the first woman unto this earth and what was her name?"
"If the first man was Adam, as it is in the bible, and it is correct, then naturally the first woman was Eve. Is this right?
"Correct!" I said and gave him his $32,
"Now for the third question doubled in prize money to $64, what were the first words Eve spoke unto Adam?"
"Oh," he again sub-vocalised, "what did she say? Well, the bible has the scriptures in writing and the priest makes sermons from them, but there isn't any narrative in the bible. Also, there isn't any dialogue in the bible as a record of what was said so I just don't know.. This is difficult and I am afraid I might not know the answer."
"What did Eve say?" He look at me and said "By crickey, that's a hard one!"
"Correct!" I said, gave him $64 and walked away, but hesitating to look back, I saw him standing, wide eyed, mouth open with a wad of cash in his hand.
Alas, he caught up with me at my bucks night and he started with the questions again.
Among the male revelry, complete with hilarious matrimonial inuendos flying about, he asked me his next question about wedding nights, where I told him this.
"A wedding is just like a roast chicken dinner. I'll be sure to have a goodly breast in one hand, a big leg in the other and it is warranted to you that there will be lots of stuffing."
I didn't see him again til today as I have just met my old mate and this fellow again. It is now well post my wedding, but he has started with the questions again. I now understand that he has progressed to the 'birds and the bees of the male to female relationship'. He really is questioning the relationship and the mating game.
"I have taught you before that the answers you seek are within you and it is a simple process that you need not worry about, really"
"Why! just the other day I spied my wife leaning over the freezer and I immediately thought real well of this, I got up behind her, I had her dress up, her daks down and two hands shoved up the front of her jumper before she knew what's what!"
"Ooh - what did she say?" he said.
"Well she fought and yelled and she screamed, pushed forward and back again and lashed out, but I have to tell you, the more she did so the more I liked it!"
"Ooh, no - really, what did your wife really say?"
I said "we needn't worry too much as the female is sometimes a very emotional creature and over time she will come round; she will get over it and we will always be good together, so no worries!"
"So really my friend you need not worry and you need not ask me all these questions."
"But having said that, I do think it will truly be a little while longer before we are both truly welcome back in at Safeways"
I had just occasion to met up with my best friend, whom was best man at my wedding, and he was in company of his good mate too.
This fellow was only a little younger than me and in the lead up to my bucks night he was asking me many questions. He asked me questions like
"when you first saw your fiance, what did you think?"
"What made you go to speak with her?"
"What did you say to her at first?"
"What did you think when she first spoke to you in return?"
Questions. Questions Questions.
As many as was needed for me to say to him "the answers to these questions that you ask me continually are within you. You already know the answers to all these questions and I can prove it to you in a simple lesson. If you want too, I will take you through a three question lesson that will show you that you already know all you need to know about women, right now"
He thought about this and said "well yes, OK" to which I added;
"I bet you know all the answers in this lesson so I will wager with you the cash in my pocket; and if you get a question correct, I will double the bet each time so you take all - with three correct answers to the three questions."
I dug my fist in my pocket and tabled about $16 in small notes and change.
"The first question to you is, who was the first man unto this earth and what was his name?"
He looked down to the chair legs alongside, looked down to the floor and back across again, all the time sub vocalising that I could hear his reasoning.
"Well there were the hominids and the homo sapiens, then perhaps homo erectus, also the first skeleton finds in Africa, but this was pre history. There aren't any records of who was the first man unto this earth. There weren't any writings or books to refer to.... but ... the bible.... the bible says the first man unto this earth was Adam, so it does"
So he looked up at me from the flooring and said " The bible says the first man unto this earth was Adam. Is this correct?"
"Correct!" I said and I gave him his $16.
"Now for the doubled bet of $32, here is your second question; who was the first woman unto this earth and what was her name?"
"If the first man was Adam, as it is in the bible, and it is correct, then naturally the first woman was Eve. Is this right?
"Correct!" I said and gave him his $32,
"Now for the third question doubled in prize money to $64, what were the first words Eve spoke unto Adam?"
"Oh," he again sub-vocalised, "what did she say? Well, the bible has the scriptures in writing and the priest makes sermons from them, but there isn't any narrative in the bible. Also, there isn't any dialogue in the bible as a record of what was said so I just don't know.. This is difficult and I am afraid I might not know the answer."
"What did Eve say?" He look at me and said "By crickey, that's a hard one!"
"Correct!" I said, gave him $64 and walked away, but hesitating to look back, I saw him standing, wide eyed, mouth open with a wad of cash in his hand.
Alas, he caught up with me at my bucks night and he started with the questions again.
Among the male revelry, complete with hilarious matrimonial inuendos flying about, he asked me his next question about wedding nights, where I told him this.
"A wedding is just like a roast chicken dinner. I'll be sure to have a goodly breast in one hand, a big leg in the other and it is warranted to you that there will be lots of stuffing."
I didn't see him again til today as I have just met my old mate and this fellow again. It is now well post my wedding, but he has started with the questions again. I now understand that he has progressed to the 'birds and the bees of the male to female relationship'. He really is questioning the relationship and the mating game.
"I have taught you before that the answers you seek are within you and it is a simple process that you need not worry about, really"
"Why! just the other day I spied my wife leaning over the freezer and I immediately thought real well of this, I got up behind her, I had her dress up, her daks down and two hands shoved up the front of her jumper before she knew what's what!"
"Ooh - what did she say?" he said.
"Well she fought and yelled and she screamed, pushed forward and back again and lashed out, but I have to tell you, the more she did so the more I liked it!"
"Ooh, no - really, what did your wife really say?"
I said "we needn't worry too much as the female is sometimes a very emotional creature and over time she will come round; she will get over it and we will always be good together, so no worries!"
"So really my friend you need not worry and you need not ask me all these questions."
"But having said that, I do think it will truly be a little while longer before we are both truly welcome back in at Safeways"
