? Diary of an Englishman in Western Australia ??
? August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.
? September 1
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!
? September 3
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !
? October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
? October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
? October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat ****.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
? October 25
- This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant ******* blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from ******* Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.
? October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the ******* air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4
Finally got the ******* air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
******* thief.
? November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to ******* throttle him.
******* heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my ******* clothes are soaking ******* wet and I smell like baked cat.
******* place is the end of the Earth.
? November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my ******* arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my ******* arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
****. ****. ****.
? November 10
-The Weather report might as well be a ******* recording.. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and ******* sunny. It never ******* changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 ******* months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
****!
? November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ******* place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the ******* pool.
The only things that thrive in this ******* hell-hole are the ******* flies.
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!
? November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 ******' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the ******* car up his ******* arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
******* Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented ******* idiot would want to live here!
? December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are ******* kidding me!
? August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.
? September 1
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!
? September 3
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !
? October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
? October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
? October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat ****.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
? October 25
- This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant ******* blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from ******* Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.
? October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the ******* air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4
Finally got the ******* air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
******* thief.
? November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to ******* throttle him.
******* heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my ******* clothes are soaking ******* wet and I smell like baked cat.
******* place is the end of the Earth.
? November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my ******* arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my ******* arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
****. ****. ****.
? November 10
-The Weather report might as well be a ******* recording.. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and ******* sunny. It never ******* changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 ******* months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
****!
? November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ******* place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the ******* pool.
The only things that thrive in this ******* hell-hole are the ******* flies.
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!
? November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 ******' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the ******* car up his ******* arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
******* Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented ******* idiot would want to live here!
? December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are ******* kidding me!
