Little Johnny jokes

[7.62marksman]

A teacher asks her class: If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?

She calls on littleJohnny. He replies, None, they all fly away with the first gun shot

The teacher replies: The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.

Then Little Johnny says: I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied: Well I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.

To which Little Johnny replied: The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.

 

[7.62marksman]

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to thefirestation. Thefirefightergiving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

Little Johnny replied: "That's how Dad knows dinner is ready!"

 

[7.62marksman]

The kindergarten class had ahomeworkassignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the littlekidsto give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's aperiod" reported Johnny.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."