It's gonna happen

[Manpa]

It's not far off..

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon's Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That's what I want .

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago..

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn't show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HECK?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago

 

[OzzieAu]

You need to find a remote bush cave Manpa..... and take your rabbit trap.

 

[Nanjim]

Many a true word is said in jest.....

Cheers Nanjim
Jim

 

[iamagoldenoldie2]

There was rumour going round that they have sampling devices in the sewer lines analyse the poo so they can sell the info to the supermarkets woollies reward cards analyse what you but and hence the adds from them lol big brother has been here for a while.

 

[Fnx50]

You all do realise they are watching this thread and adding this to your profile. For the record, I love you Big Brother. Just sayin.

 

[RM Outback]

You all do realise they are watching this thread and adding this to your profile. For the record, I love you Big Brother. Just sayin.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :Y:

 

[ctxkid]

well that explains maccas adds

There was rumour going round that they have sampling devices in the sewer lines analyse the poo so they can sell the info to the supermarkets woollies reward cards analyse what you but and hence the adds from them lol big brother has been here for a while.

 

[pete165]

KFC ,Dominoes, Pizza hut and Hungry Jacks too. Everytime you do something in this country it is recorded by some group. They now know more about you then you do yourself. Good luck everyone.

 

[aussiefarmer]

Wasnt it Adelaides sewer network that had the highest cocentration of methamphetamines in Australia ?
So even the council is studying our poo to find whos been naughty and who was nice.
Well im glad i keep all my poo in my secrete septic :lol:

 

[diggit]

Funny cos its true!!

And now people want to bring 'Google Home' into their homes??

The only way it will happen in my joint is over my non digital dead body!

 

[pete165]

Funny cos its true!!

And now people want to bring 'Google Home' into their homes??

The only way it will happen in my joint is over my non digital dead body!

Ve want to have your body sir. Seriously though I agree.